Carol Mae Whittick

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Throwing Shade

We all want to be liked, loved and encouraged.  

I have always been someone who has had great hope and dreams for myself and I assumed that everybody would want the same for themselves too. However, over time I have seen the more I journey forward that not everybody wants that or even if they do say so very few are prepared to do the work. In contemplation I can recognise where I have slowed my own progress because I was afraid of losing a friend and unsure that I would be able to cope alone. What I did not realise was that moving forward does not have to be a solo endeavour. There may be moments when you have to step out and away from the old but there are always people to join you on your new level. 

Every time.
These new friends are often more encouraging and supportive because they too understand what it has taken to get this far. 

In spite of this, there is still is pull back to certain people in our lives.  Most often they will be old friends and family members. People with whom we share history and feel deep responsibility for. They want the best for us to see us happy and well but in some cases this can be a conditional desire. 

Sabotage, negativity, criticism and misunderstanding will be the loudest and most hurtful from this group and for a long time I could not understand why my people could not be excited to hear about my plans and dreams for myself. 

When I would talk about new ideas or mini successes there would be little or no encouragement.  For too long I allowed this to hurt me and often stop me. 

That is until I started to see that it was not about me. As far as I was concerned when I succeeded everybody would benefit and celebrate but from their point of view I was being disrespectful.  

To them, my desire for better than what we had all shared up until that point felt like a personal rejection when all I was turning my back on was the way of life not the people. My ambitions forced others to examine where they were settling and for some that truth was hard to admit to.
So it became easier to attempt to pull me down.  They felt overshadowed even when I mentioned my ambitions.
It is always been surprising when I have been challenged this way because often it comes from the person you think would be above such a reaction. 

What I have learned is to stay focused an remember that as you continue to rise only some will appreciate your light. 

Love Yourself!  
Cx

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